Is blogging similar to a journal? I suppose...one without the more private feelings and thoughts that I might put on paper. I try to document cute things the kids do- but the busier we get, the more often I think, "Oh, yeah...I need to remember to write that down." A week later I can't remember EXACTLY what was said, and I feel like that "moment" slipped away. And, I suppose, truthfully it did. I am learning that it is okay...I am not a horrible mom if I forgot to document the EXACT date that Elizabeth cut her sixth tooth. (I actually did that with my older two- and guess what? Not ONCE have they asked!) If Brett says something too funny, chances are, he will say something even funnier again. I think I take thousands of photos because they are moments of a diary, a "photo journal". Often, I can look at a picture and remember. A friend recently told me that we are forgotten by all roughly fifty years after our death, on average. I suppose my photos are so that I can remember and my kids will remember. But guess what? At some point, unless the good Lord returns between now and then, those pictures will be on my ancestors' family tree. Or in a trash can. I remind myself that nothing- NOT ONE THING- is more important than teaching my children about God and His plan of Salvation. I used to hear Old Testament stories when someone would be told that their ancestors would suffer, and I would think, "I don't understand that. Who cares about what happens two hundred years from now?" After having these three wonderful little souls, I GET IT. I have seen so many parents heartbroken that their grandchildren are not being reared with a reverence for God. I am hoping and praying that I instill those values in my children. I am extremely blessed that I married a man who feels the same way.
My first "baby" is 10-years-old. She is in her last year of elementary school. I have gotten the eyeroll a time or two lately, to which I quickly responded. Generally, she is extremely thoughtful and caring. If she remains this easy to raise, I will consider myself extremely lucky. She plays soccer, piano, and she sings in a childrens' choir. She is extremely creative. She makes good grades and she has a terrific work ethic. Her teachers generally love her, as she tries to exceed their expectations. (I had one teacher stop me and tell me how much he admired her self-discipline and work ethic. Wow!) She is my go-getter. In that respect, she is her daddy's daughter.
My second "baby" is 8-years-old, and my only boy. He is a Third Grader, and he does not miss a THING. Randy and I are often interrogated the next day about private discussions downstairs while he is (supposed to be) sleeping upstairs. He is gentle and feisty and loyal and talkative all wrapped up in a cute boy package. I have to remind myself that he is only a little boy because he can have some fairly deep discussions, and he is intuitive. He hates transition, but I'll leave that one alone..."He is talkative, but sweet." That is the quote I get from his teachers. He is knowledgable about quite a few things, but he has to learn (as do I, at times) to stop talking to learn more and that we can learn something from everyone.
My third baby is truly a baby at nearly 20-months-old. She is a funny, spoiled, loved little girl. That child can do ANYTHING and there is an audience of four just laughing and cheering her on. "Oh, Mom! She said my name really well that time!" "Look, Mom! She made prayer hands!" She gets so much attention. She really is funny. She has done a few quirky things nearly since birth. She seems to absolutely love music and Adele's "Someone Like You" could get her to stop crying in the car from 2-months-old on. She still gripes at us if we try to talk in the car while she is listening to her music. And the video for "Baby Mine" has been played hundreds of times since she was less than 2-months-old, to which she would immediately look at the screen wide-eyed. Her vocabulary is increasing rapidly. I love to watch her learn. Having two so much older is an adventure. I do feel a little bad that she is going to be playing by herself more than her older sibs, but it will be what she knows. It will be a little different, but it will be as good as we can make it.
As for me? I am on the cusp of 40, but that is fine. My age doesn't bother me nearly as much as my weight. I am working on that, but I can't let it define me. I am God's child, Randy's wife, Sarah's, Brett's, and Elizabeth's mama, and Mike's and Janette's daughter, as well as Julie's, Jennifer's, Jeff's, and Greg's sister (with special memories attached to each one of them). My flaws are many, but so are my strengths, though focusing on my flaws seems to take up more of my day than it should. I stick my foot in my mouth some, but am learning to do it less and less. I dwell on my mistakes. I am conflicted, yet resolved. I am a teacher (a career I love), currently on hiatus with my baby. I love, love, love my family and I thank God for them every day.
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